Bible Club

     Here are the hilarious things that usually happen at bible Club. 
   First Vincent and I arrive at the school, only to find out that we have to park a mile away from the door because of the oncoming cars of tired frustrated mothers who probably had to drag themselves away from their facebook page to pick up their kids. Upon reaching the Library where we hold the club, Mrs. Filcik throws a bunch of childrens nametags at us, all in a knot,  and has us untangle them in about 5 min. That may seem like enough time, but trust me its not. By the time that is done, John and his mom have the cookies, the horrible sugerie things, out on napkins accompanied by about 70 to 80 cups of good old water. Then Vincent and I position ourselves behind a table just in time to go up against a sea of children ready to say their bible verse and receive a hole punch on their name tags, allowing them a candy.
    The candy bucket is stuffed with more hands than candy most of the time allowing for easier pickpockets and thieves, so we finally dubbed Caleb the prize monitor. So he now stands there and gleefully catches any one stupid enough to try and get past him with more than they earned. 
    After that, we herd half the kids into the gym and play about half an hour worth of games with them. There is a long canvas sheet hanging up against the far wall of  the gym that provides a fun hiding place for the trouble makers in the group. Most of the time, one or two kids will sneak behind it without realizing that I can clearly see their feet peeking out beneath it and a very visible lump moving along the wall. So I take care of the situation by going over and giving a satisfying thump to the temporary lumps in curtain with my elbow. That usually gets them out fast. Either that, or me just grabbing their ankles and dragging them out, though I find the first more rewarding to my agitated nerves.
 We then rotate the children in the first group with the second and play another half hour worth of games, and then, amazingly enough, its time to send the kids home.  On the way back to the Library, we usually let the kids go to the bathroom. But this all ways creates a problem, because the boys' bathroom get so loud that I have to threaten to go in there myself and drag them out by their ears. At first they don't listen to my threat, but once I start counting to 10, about 12 boys will rush out the door, their hands dripping with soap and water and screaming that a girl was about to come in.  The girls dont ever give me problems in the bathroom. And boys wonder why every body always says that girls are cute little angels.
   From there, we send the kids home to their parents and we are stuck with the job of cleaning up after the tornado.  We have to push all the chairs and tables back to their origanal positions, and pick up all the discarded wrappings. Then for some odd reason we all fight about what we get to carry out to the car. its almost like, if you don't carry something out, your a wimp. Thus the mad scramble of finding some thing, any thing to carry out to Mrs.Filcik's car. Caleb has made it clear that the big white basket that weighs about 50 lb. is his, and any one who dares to try and pick it up with be in trouble.  My usual baggage is a CD player and the container of left over cookies. It may not seem like much, but when you have to walk through a crowd of about 30 kids holding the cookies high above your head trying not to let any one push you over or climb up you like a tree, it automatically makes it harder than even Caleb's white basket. Then after all is said and done, we say good bye to each other and unbelievably say, " See you Sunday and next Tuesday at Bible Club!"